Watching the paint peel.

I have never been so freaking bored in my entire life. All three kids are sick, which means we can't go anywhere and no one wants to visit. Josh is in Wisconson, which means I have no adult company. Annnnnnnd, I did something really stupid and grounded the kids from the computer. (They wouldn't go to bed, were driving me crazy, seemed like a good idea at the time.) So they have nothing to do (despite the 17 billion toys) and are whining.
So far I have organized the pantry, the fridge, the closets, and the bathroom cabinets. Now I am moving on to the kids toys, which is an effort in futility because they live to disorganize. Someone save me from myself. Soon, Erica, very soon, I too will be CLEANING THE VACUUM CLEANER. (That's right people- she cleans the thing you clean with. Gaahhhh.)
*Side Note- Does anyone else think I use too many parentheses? (I have noticed this. But it seems to be out of my control)
The good news about being bored is that I have a ridiculously clean house. The bad news is that I am completely insane and will probably be chewing up bits of paper by the end of the week.

I KNOW WHY MY COMPUTER IS BARKING!!!

It has something to do with my Instant Messenger. Everytime my aunt logs in or out of AIM, the sound effect is a bark. (I only discovered this because I was staring at my buddy list when she logged out.) So the questions is, what do I do? Is it a problem with her AIM or mine? Anyone know?
Just glad to know that my computer is not possessed...

A multitude of reasons I am going to Hell

1. Josh was watching a docu-drama last night on Discovery Times. (This happens more often than I would care to admit to strangers). It was something about Jesus and miracles (I freely admit that I was not paying attention) and I happened to look up and think, 'Hey, that guy is hot. Who is that?' It was Jesus. Which forced me to consider that there might be something terribly wrong with me for thinking that Jesus is just smokin' hot. Then I got mad at the filmmaker. Why hire an actor to play Jesus who is really cute? Do you want people to be attracted to the SON OF GOD???

2. I saw my mother-in-law at the drug store yesterday. She was standing at the register and didn't see me. I snuck up behind her and loudly announced, "I saw you putting all those things in your purse!!" She jumped, and the clerk looked alarmed. After I saw the clerk's eyes darting back and forth between the two of us, I told her I was kidding, and actually related to the pseudo-shoplifter. Then we high-tailed it out of there. Still don't know what the clerk thought, but I know my mother-in-law was less than amused.

3. Emma had to get two shots last week. They, theoretically, should be the last two she will get until middle school. I guess this should really be numbers three and four, because I did two things wrong here. First, when she asked why we were going to the doctor, I told her that it was for Claire, because she was sick. (This was true, by the way. I wasn't lying, just... omitting.) She didn't realize what was going on until the nurse walked out of the room and called out over her shoulder, "I'll be right back with Emma's shots." The second thing I did was lie unrepentantly while trying to console her. As in, "I know you don't want to, but these are the LAST SHOTS YOU WILL EVER HAVE TO GET". As in, ever. I figured at the time that this was ok because hopefully by the time she is 12, she will forget that I ever said that.


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Claire's vocabulary can't capture all that she wants to say. Which is (trust me) alot. So she has started inventing stuff. When something isn't perfect, you can regularly hear her saying things like, "NO! It's too sluffy mully." and "Wait! It's too sleefy". Funny stuff. It got funnier when she recently added, "No! It's too freaky!" (As I am writing this, she is telling me she wants to take her dress off because it is "too sluffy molly meemy plardy." What in the hell is she trying to say, anyway? At least with "I can't like that!", I knew what she meant.)

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Dex has slept through the night four nights in a row.

The scanner is still running

and seester, I love thee most of all...

Why do I have my finger in your mouth? I do not know. But you seem to be enjoying it.

Ha! Naked pictures of you on the internet.... sexy.

Cute thighs......

And a glimpse into the future.

But, by far, this one is the best. You still make that face. Alot. Fortunately, your makeup has improved.

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Okay, this picture isn't old. In fact, I took it a few hours ago. But it is so hilarious that I cannot wait- it must go up right now.

Josh thinks this is an indication of his future as a salesman. I am more worried about the nearer future- like toddlerhood. He has way too much personality for that tiny body.

In case you had ever wondered if Claire was really mine...

That is me, at two-and-a-half. It is like looking at Claire in a blonde wig. And just cause I am on a scanning kick right now,....

That is my dad. Under me is his ashtray. Yes, I noticed it. No, I do not need for you to point it out. It was worth it for that kiss. :)

Yeah, my mom was kind of a hippie. A pretty, pretty hippie

And in case anyone was wondering if Dex is really Josh's:

And, in case you were wondering if Dex will be a cute little boy, the answer is yes.

This last one is for my cousin who thinks she wasn't a cute baby. (She probably doesn't even know this blog exists. But now all of you know, she was a dang cute baby.)

I know you are sick of hearing about it, but....

Dang, he is just so cute.

He slept through the night last night, which makes him 100 times cuter.

He had his 4 month check up today. His height is in the 90th percentile (tall!!), his weight is in the 10th percentile (skinny!!) and his head was in the 50th percentile (normal!!). He still doesn't do much but look cute, but apparently that is ok. His only job is to learn how to roll over in the next two months or so.

Claire went with us, because she needed her Hep A booster. She did remarkably well, only crying about 15 seconds. She immediately stopped when the nurse said, "We are done. You can get a toy out of the machine!" They have one of those toy dispensing machines that takes a token. No matter how many times I tell the girls, they will not be convinced that you cannot "exchange" your toy for the one you had your eye on. I tried pointing out that ALL of the toys in there suck, not just yours. All this got me was an angry glare from the nurse.

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My sister is talking about moving away for grad school. I am so sad. I selfishly want her to stay here forever. She thinks Lubbock is boring. I think she will be disappointed to find that you can be bored almost anywhere in the world. I am here. My cutie babies are here. What more could a girl want?

Eventually, both she and Laurie (cousin-who-is-more-like-a-sister, for those of you who were wondering) will undoubtedly move away. Probably somewhere near each other. It is like considering losing a loved one- too hard to think about. I can't imagine my life without them!! Who else will horrify me with bodily functions, or reassure me that she is definitely weirder than me. (You each know which of these examples apply to you...) Now I am depressed....

Is it wrong that I want each of them to skip out on life experiences so that I won't have to miss them? Is that even normal, or am I just the most self-absorbed person we all know? Would it be possible to just adopt them both so that I can run their lives?.... worth considering, for sure. (Listen, girls, I know I am bossy, but you will like it here. I make a mean meatloaf, lemme tell you.)

Teeeeeeth!

Emma's are falling out and Dex's are coming in. Both are too young, if ya ask me.

Emma is so proud that she regularly abandons her normally shy behavior to show anyone who will look her "wiggly" tooth. I am about sick of the whole loose tooth thing if you want to know the truth. Fall out already!

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Dex had his first taste of rice cereal today. Typically (okay, the other two times I have done this), the baby being introduced to spoon feeding will gape at you with an expression that can only be described as "What the hell?...." It usually takes a few attempts before they get the idea that, hey! this is food!

Not Dex. He was born to eat from a spoon, apparently. The first bite went down without a second thought and he promptly opened his mouth for more. He actually cried when it was gone. You could see the joy in his eyes while he was eating, like, "I have been waiting my whole life for this!!"



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Claire has decided that diapers are not for her. However, she has not entirely embraced the use of the toilet. Which means lots of laundry for me. Fun times, fun times.

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Here are some picture updates

His father gives me that same look quite regularly.... Disturbing.

Yes, the red hair is gone. I am still mourning. The only color I can come up with to describe the new color is... peach.

She got an easel for Christmas. Now she is an artist. A snaggle tooth artist.

Turns out, people who still use binkies make crappy babysitters. Also, did you notice the mad ink she had added to her leg? (Relax mom, they are rub-ons. The real tattoos are all on me and Josh. [Now she will stay up all night worrying. Evil, I know.])

Also, can anyone please please tell me why in the HELL I keep hearing barking and growling coming from my computer speakers? It is really starting to freak me out. There is some sort of ghost of a rabid dog trapped in my computer.