two things

1: Vaseline + Dirt + Hair = a big mess.

Can you see the look of utter disgust on my face? I don't really have any good pictures of the damage.

I have washed his hair no less than 6 times in the past 24 hours. I have used shampoo, body soap, and dish soap. Twice on each. While the volume of Vaseline is greatly diminished, his hair is still greasy to the touch. He has so far ruined his shirt, my jacket, his sheet, and his pillowcase. Gahhhhhh

2. Claire has a real knack for subtlety. We were touring a few houses with our realtor today, and when we walked in one that had some kind of strange odor (I believe it was eau de cat pee), she exclaimed, "Ewwww! It smells like stinky BALLS in here!" Luckily, our realtor also happens to be my aunt and, even more luckily, the house was vacant. Claire was glad we were so amused, but was a little confused as to why it was SO funny.

Only on the belly, not so much behind the ears

We have a good friend, Jenny, who lives in California. She is technically related to us, but it is such a tangled web of relatives that it is easier to call her a friend. I digress. Jenny is single, no kids, a few cats. (Trust me, it will become relevant in a minute). Jenny works, and I have too many kids, so we mostly communicate by lengthy voice mails to each other. Her most recent was yesterday. It was chock full of information, but the best part came in the last 30 seconds.

"Give my love to Josh and scratch the kids for me!".

I had to listen to it three times to make sure I heard it right. After she said this, she must have realized that it didn't sound quite right. There was a slight pause, then a hastily added, "Or whatever it is you do with kids".

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Have you seen this? It is an oddly intriguing look into how ridiculously spoiled celebrities are. I especially enjoyed Eminem's request for a Game Room, which should have an "arcade type ambiance, such as video games, large television with PlayStation and games, masseur, ping pong table..." Seriously? I have been to so many arcades to get a massage.

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Emma's ARD meeting went okay, though it was unreasonably long. There were no fewer than eight people in the room to make sure that the bureaucracy was satisfied with the amount of paper production in order to get one kid into speech therapy. As we discussed the difficulties Emma would face in the first grade, one member of the meeting suggested that maybe Emma should repeat Kindergarten in a full day program since, at this point, she is already stressed by a 3 hour day and will have to adjust to a 7 and a half hour day. Thoughts on this? My concern is that, since she is already ahead of most of her class academically, she would probably be bored to tears if she had to repeat kindergarten. Since her birthday is at the end of June, she wouldn't really be any older than her classmates as she is the youngest now. Anyone who has dealt with this sort of situation, I would appreciate your input.

oodles of money

Well, hello, peasants. I am now rich from the seven dollars and fifty-four cents I have earned from my hard-working blog. Ahhh, the sweet smell of success. I think Erica has been angling for the beers, so she gets the first one. Then I will pretty much be broke, so I suppose everyone else is on their own.





We have Emma's ARD meeting with the school district tomorrow and I am a little nervous. Mostly because I am not looking forward to sitting around with a bunch of strangers discussing what is "wrong" with my daughter. Let's have a meeting to discuss what is right with my daughter- she colors in the lines, she loves chocolate, and she is super organized. Oh wait, that was one of the things we are trying to cure her of, huh?


To this point, we haven't really discussed any treatment through the school district besides speech. Anything beyond that would require extensive testing and lots of time. Since we already have a private psychologist that our insurance will pay for, there is really no need for school district therapies. Plus, I am more than a little worried that the more treatment the school is involved with, the more likely it is she will wind up labeled. One of the biggest problems she deals with is Selective Mutism which, according to the latest research, can almost be eradicated with the right treatment. Whether we are getting the right treatment remains to be seen, but our therapist came highly recommended, so we will see.


We did finally pick out an elementary school , so that is a relief. The principal seems more than willing to work with us to make Emma comfortable wants she gets there. Yay for that.





Subject change





Everyone is having babies. What is going on, dudes? And also, thank God I got my tubes tied. It is an epidemic, I swear. Thanks to most of you for not burdening me with the secret gender of your unborn child. To the one that did, you will pay for this, woman. I have piles of THINGS I have to hide from you in my home. (Luckily, it is very cluttered here, so who would notice a pile of baby clothes.) Ha! Now you are wondering- did I see a pile of clothes there today? Was it pink or blue? I can't remember.... Revenge is slow but gleeful, my dear friend. (Because I know you will stay up all night obsessing, there was no pile of clothes. It was in the closet, so there is no way you could have seen it. Think about something else.)

I found this picture today and I like it. Seester, you have pretty eyelashes. And also, I miss you.

:(

In local news today..

Dex will probably be a heartthrob as a teenager. Evidence can be found below. I expect lots of broken-hearted teenage girls in my future.



Emma is growing some new teeth, and she is very proud of them. You can just barely see them peeking out of the gums.


In financial news today....

For those of you who are wondering, I have made $1.37 on my blog since installing the ads. I now have enough for one half of one of the promised beers. Misty is the only person who has actually confessed to clicking a link, but she is pregnant, so the half-beer will have to go to someone else.

Monkeys for sale.

I am so very happy with my first two "content-relevant" ads. They were:


Monkeys For Sale
Learn Where Can You Find Pet Monkeys For Sale. Get Info Today!

and

Draw A Monkey
Earn Money As An Illustrator! Blick Art Materials. We Sell Online

I can't give you any earnings reports yet because first, someone has to click on the ads. (Ahem.) Obviously, Google is getting their "content" from the title of the blog, but still, I was strangely happy to see that they were inadvertantly relevant- having kids is so much like having pet monkeys. Very similar.

current? yes. Relative? no.

20/20 did a pretty interesting segment Friday on Selective Mutism (Thanks mom and Misty for the heads up). The accompanying article can be found here. I thought it was a so-so report, but it had some really good information about what these kids go through on a day to day basis. I was also a little glad to see that Emma is not alone in her social struggles. (Of course, I knew she was not alone, but it was still gratifying to see it on prime time tv.)

This coming week is spring break, and Emma could not be more ecstatic. No school all week. I haven't even explained the summer situation to her yet. Almost 3 month of no school is going to blow her little mind.

Other than those two tidbits, not much else is going on. On my quest to be more organized and on top of my life, I feel accomplished if I manage to blog. So what if it is about nothing... Content? Pssshhh. Relevant to your life? Ehhhhh. Interesting? ummmmmmmmm. Okay, I will admit, no to all of those. But it makes ME feel better, and what else really matters, right?

Monetizing the blog.

Since Google will give absolutely no estimates about AdSense earnings, I decided to take the plunge. (Thanks, Jacob, for the push. Everyone else, if you hate it, blame Jacob...) Anyway, I am not allowed to encourage you in any way to click on the ads. I know it is only a click, and I know I could potentially make MONEY off of that click, but I will follow the rules.

If the ads are bothersome to you, I want to know. I doubt that I will be earning any real money off of it, so I will probably remove it pretty quickly if it becomes irritating. But if I DO start earning money, free beers for everyone!

photo update

Okay, here are some recent shots.

Crystal's maternity portraits were quickly followed by the arrival of this one:

Meet Lauren. She is very much a binky girl.

Also, here are some of the Bridge group shots.

Not much else is happening, hence the lack of posts. I think I have bipolar-posting-disorder. Lots of posting, then none. It is cyclic. Jared, I'm sure, can diagnose this somehow.

I can only blame myself

THe weekend before last, Michelle came to visit and on Sunday, my mom had everyone over for lunch. She bought a package of balloons that could be tied into animals for "entertainment". The girls each wound up with several different animals and also a few long, untied balloons. Someone asked Claire about that particular balloon. "What is it, Claire?" Claire made sure she had everyones attention before announcing, "It's a friggin' snake!" Laughter, followed by a few calls of "Whaaaat?" In a louder voice this time, "It's a FRIGGIN' SNAKE". Mom asked her what that meant. Her answer was refreshingly honest: "I don't know, but it is something really funny..."

I enjoyed getting to spend some time with Michelle and Jacob (read: teasing them mercilessly with pointed questions about when they were going to get married), but it was cut short by colds and ear infections. First Emma, then Claire and Dex, and Josh soon followed. Josh was by far the most unpleasant of all four. On Monday, I took the kids to the doctor where we were prescribed antibiotics. While we were there, they also did Dexter's 18 month checkup. He is 33 1/2" inches tall (80th percentile) and weighs 20 lbs 13 oz (3rd percentile. No, you didn't misread that. NINETY SEVEN percent of kids his age weigh more than he does. And that isn't even factoring in the 80% that are shorter than him.) Long and skinny. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that.

Megan and I did some shots at a Bridge Group party. I am not sure what Bridge is exactly, but it seemed to be some sort of drinking club...

We also welcomed a new niece into our family recently. Her name is Lauren and she is pretty cute. Portraits coming soon, but here is one Crystal emailed me: