Claire turns 4

Okay, it happened a couple of weeks ago, I know. But better late than never, right???

Dora was our Pinata victim this year. Several tried, but she seemed unbeatable
(If you click on this, and the following pictures, to enlarge them, you can see Carson flinching and covering her ears in every single one. I guess to drown out the sounds of Dora's screams...)

Josh helped our nephew take a swing. WTF is with the mile long metal pole, Josh???

Ultimately, Bri was the only one able to defeat Dora, taking her head clean off.

I have no problems with saying that Dora deserved this. It's her voice. It kills me. Thank you, Bri.

Almost no spit was blown on the cake this year. The girl is getting some serious candle-blowing-out skills

Did I mention the face painting?...

Overall, the party was a great success this year. Claire got some really nice gifts (props on the HM nightgown, Jess. You win, hands down. Well, you may have tied with the stereo/HM cd combo, but that nightgown doesn't play songs all day and night so, in my book, you won.) Also, she was an amazingly gracious host, and expressed gratitude for every single present. ("I love it! I love it! Look mom! I love it!")

The sweetest moment came when Emma emerged from her little shell because she was so excited about the gift she bought for Claire. She ran across the lawn shouting "That one is from me, Claire! That one is from me!" Then, THEN, the kid who cringes at affection, accepted a HUG FROM HER SISTER. It was momentus, I tell you.

Thank you, Megan, for all the pictures. Don't worry everyone else- I repaid the favor by taking pictures of her naked pregnant body expelling a child a few weeks later...

Run, run, as fast as you can

What he lacks in form, he makes up for in enthusiasm.

(Thanks, Megan, for the priceless picture)

Holy Updates, Batman!

I admit it, I have been slacking. But that means it is your lucky day cause you get almost all of my news in one easy to digest pill.

1. Kindergarten Graduation

Emma had a line in the program. A LINE. WHICH SHE SPOKE INTO A MICROPHONE. We were ecstatic. Of course, almost immediately after, she ran off the stage crying, but hey, we take our victories where we can get them

2. Tech Graduation

A few hours later, we hustled over to the Tech Arena for Josh's sister's graduation. Thanks to the nice (read: ridiculously rich) man my mom works for, we were able to enjoy the event from the comfort of a private box. Money CAN buy happiness... Congrats, Annie. Welcome to the world of Holy Shit, I Just Spent $20 ($30? $40?) Thousand Dollars on a Piece of Paper I May Never Use.

Also, here is a snapshot of Josh and all his sisters. They make Josh look like a giant. He comes from a family of miniatures.

3. More Pictures of My Kids

Cause we really just don't see enough of those...

I still have Claire's Birthday, a strange graduation party, and a visit from family (Hi Jenny!) to add to my numbered list but A.) I have run out of time and B.) This post was getting awfully picture heavy. Let's save some for next time...

Hooray for new keywords

Some good ones this week!

-monetizing monkeys

-monkey bed stuff

and, by far my favorite

-funny things we do in bed


nice, huh?

7-11 crazies

Had to get this little story down before it escaped my memory because it was too weird.


I made a quick trip to 7-11 for Coke. In and out, no problem, right?


Me: (handed the cashier my debit card)
Cashier: You know, we only take cash for the lottery.
Me: (??? Looking around for someone who might be advertising "I want a lottery ticket". Nobody) Uh... OK
Cashier: I don't even have one of those. What I got in my pocket is what I got. I always know how much money I have cause it is in my pocket.
Me: That's great...
Cashier: In fact, a cashless society is a sign of the END TIMES
Me: Uh...
(interrupted by crazy # 2, who is in line behind me)
Crazy 2: That's right. And the LORD will SMOTE the non-believers
Cashier: (realizing he has a kindred spirit, proceeds to hold my receipt hostage) Brother, you better believe it!
Me: (Moving my hand towards his in an attempt to grab my receipt) Good to know. Listen...
Cashier: (interrupts me, swoops in on my extended hand, grabs it, and, with surprising deftness, switches the receipt to the other hand and holds it OVER HIS HEAD) What I am sayin' to you is true!
Crazy 2: Amen
Me: Okay,well, I don't really need a receipt anyway. Have a good night! (exits stage left at a run)
Cashier calls after me: Don't forget to bring cash for the lotto next time!

----------------------------

So many problems with this scene.
1: Crazy number 2 used the word smote
2: I felt the uncontrollable need to wish these two crazies a good night
3: I wasn't even wearing my "I love the lottery" t-shirt
4: Cashier handed me my receipt when he realized I was done with this scenario.

Hello there.

What? Child labor is illegal? Huh... But fence repairs are so damn expensive.




(Don't worry, mom, they were closely supervised.)

--------------------------------------------------------

Did everyone have a lovely Mother's Day? I did. I got to sleep in, got breakfast in bed, Josh cooked steaks for lunch, and we went to Abuelo's with my mom* and grandparents for dinner. Phew. Almost too much spoiling for one day. In case I didn't say it clearly last night, I LOVE YOU, MOM! YOU ARE MY FAVORITE!

*I am lucky enough to have a very cool mother who is also good at the mothering bit. (Those two are surprisingly hard to find in one person. They are either too cool to be motherly or too motherly to be cool. You know what I mean. Mini skirts or housecoats- very little middle ground)

------------------------------------------------------------

Laura had her baby, and she is very cute, and I am impressed with Laura's sewing skills. But, I will admit, I am a little confused by the leg thingies. Are they tights? Are they pants? What are they??? My confusion aside, congratulations on the super-sweet little girl. She has very cool hair.

bed and things

Here are some recent google searches that got you lovely folks to my blog:

-bed and things

-bed leavers and profile beds (huh?)

-cousin share bed (ewwwww)

-funny disgusting (okay, that one makes sense...)

and, of course,

.

.

.

-my computer is barking (HEY! I actually have had that problem! Yet another reason blogging is so important.)

What can we learn from this? Two things:

1. There are some strange people in this world.

2. I attract strange people

And to the guy looking for bed and things, good luck dude. Things are HARD to find.

.....................................................................

Further evidence that we are JUST NOT NORMAL

This is Emma's room. She was at school and I looked in her room and saw her bed. Cute, right? Floral quilt, vintage Cabbage Patch dolls and a ... what is that black thing?

Oh, a giant knife. Of course. What do you think she was thinking as she lined up her things on her bed? Is the knife supposed to be a threat to potential doll thieves?

..........................................................................................

Also, Emma is past dressing as superheroes and pirates. She has now moved on to dressing as dad.

And dad is one sharp dresser.